Sunday, 6 August 2017

Latest Funny Jokes 2017

Night. A sleeping couple is lying in a bed. Door bell rings. A couple wakes up. Woman: “Quick! My husband is back!” Man jumps out from a window. Flying down he starts to think: “Shit! But I am the husband!”


One day an elephant said to a monkey: "Look how big and strong I am! I can carry a very big tree. I am glad I am strong."
"Look how quick I am! I can run quickly, and I can climb a tree very quickly!" said the monkey. "And I am glad I am quick."
But which is better: a strong animal or a quick animal? They did not know. They argued, and each of them thought he was better.
Then the monkey had an idea. "The old owl is very clever. Let's go to her and ask her about it."
They went to the old owl, and the elephant said, "The monkey is quick, but I am strong. Which is better?"
The owl said, "Do you see that big tree? There is a nut on it. Who can bring it here? Go and pick the nut and bring it to me."
The elephant and the monkey ran to the tree. But on their way they came to a river. The monkey was afraid to swim.
"I can carry you," said the elephant. "I am big and strong."
The monkey sat down on the elephant's back, and the elephant swam across the river.
When they came to the tree, the elephant wanted to pick the nut with his trunk, but he could not, because the nut was too high. The elephant tried to shake the tree, but the tree was too thick.
"I can climb the tree," said the monkey and went up the tree. Then the monkey picked the nut. The elephant put the nut in his mouth. Then they swam back to the owl and gave her the nut.
"Now Mrs. Owl, which is better: a strong animal or a quick animal?"
"Both are good," said the owl. "But you could not do alone what you did together."

One day a guy was driving with his 4-year-old daughter and beeped his car horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.

He said: “I did that by accident.”

She replied: “I know that, daddy.”