Saturday, 18 February 2017

Latest Funny Jokes 2017

                           Latest Funny Jokes 2017

A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me"
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. How much water did you drink ?
                                                                                                                                                                                        



Husband : I lost my wife, she went shopping &
hasn't come back yet.
Inspector : What is her height?
Husband : I never checked.
Inspector : Slim or healthy?.
Husband Not slim, can be healthy.
Inspector : Colour of eyes?
Husband : Never noticed.
Inspector : Colour of hair?
Husband : Changes according to season.
Inspector : What was she wearing?
Husband : Not sure whether it was a dress or a
suit.
Inspector Was she driving?
Husband : yes
Inspector : colour of the car?
Husband : black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0
litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power
teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic
transmission with manual mode. And it has full
LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes
for all light functions and has a very thin scratch
on the front left door          and then the
husband started crying...
Inspector: Don't worry sir, we will find your car.
                                                                                                                                                                                        



Boy : Daddy I want to marry,
Dad : First say sorry.
Boy : For what?
Dad : Say sorry,
Boy : But for what? What I have done?
Dad : You first say sorry,
Boy : But ... What's my fault?
Dad : You first say sorry,
Boy : But why???
Dad : You first say sorry,
Boy : Please, at least tell me a reason!
Dad : You first say sorry,
Boy : Ok Dad ... I am sorry !!
Dad : Now you are ready. Your training is complete. When you learn to say sorry without any reason, you can marry!
When you learn to say sorry without any reason, you can marry!

 



 

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